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get up and go
October 24, 2007 4:39am
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I need to get out of this funk. I need to find something that will truly make me happy. I need to make money. cause I am broke. I need to get things together
I did another good tattoo today.... but I need to get more out of what I am doing. I need to focus and concentrate on what lies ahead for me. I need to make 140 more dollars in 3 days. and I only made 60 in two. so that means I'm behind...I should have given 20 more bucks which would have put me in a better position. but I needed groceries. I needed to eat. fuck. I am so stressed. I know I can get passed this. and when I do it will be better. but its slow now and it won't let up till after christmas. and to add to it.... it wil actually get worst as christmas gets closer. meaning there could be times where I go 2 weeks without making any money.
I'm gonna call it quits on this blog tonight. I got myself bummed out.
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I sit and think of you only
October 22, 2007 5:48am
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big game tonight. jax vs ind. can't wait for that.
I woke up at 2 today at my moms apt. we went to get her tires changed. but as we waited we ate lunch at johnny carinos off atlantic. its weird there.... I don't like it there lol.
when I finally get to the shop it was 7pm and for the most part today has sucked. I find out today that I have 5 days left to pay cody rent. its only 200$ but when you got 5$ to your name then it is intemidating trying to figure out how you are going to come up with the money.... so I am pretty much fucked.
anyways tiger army's new cd is good. and that concludes another boring post from my life
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I smell fear like sharks smell blood in water
October 21, 2007 5:54am
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okay.... last night was jimmy's 18th birthday. that was fun. we had a party. jimmy went all out and when it was time to sleep... he ran into a wall. fell down and missed his bed by half a foot.... and then vomited all over his pillow. and then passed out. so me and cody had to take care of him....
as for today.... it started slow. and then we got slammed. some people left the rival shop and came to us and I hooked em up with a sweet piece. looked fucking brutal. .....but its unfinished. but it was exciting to create such an amazing piece. something that will help put me on the map.
but I am staying the night at my moms. and tomorrow do god knows what. hopefully chill with a homie.... its late and I'm tired. so good night
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to hell and back pt. IV
October 18,2007 11:23pm
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a wise man once said, "if you are going to do it.... do it big...".... or did I read that in a fortune cookie.... I can't remember. either or it is what went through my mind this entire apprenticeship.
reading back on old entries..... I'm ashamed of myself. how immature I was. and prolly still am. but one entry really cought my eye. it was a post to someone I knew. I talked about his self esteem issues. I went as far as grabbing a qoute from a site that shows signs of low self esteem.
and where am I going with this.... I look at my life from then till now. and I didn't see it then. but every symptom (sp?) listed.... fits my life.n to a T. its was a real eye opener. I look at how childish I have been. its rediculous
well needless to say... the more I read my old entries the more disgusted I am at myself..... moving on
I tattooed a japanese demon tonight. it was crazy looking... made a couple bucks off of that. other then that its the same old same old. my life is boring. and if you were unfortunate to read the old blog entries.... it always has been.
oh... and fyi I still have all that same beef going on with stupid people. but from now on. I will try to keep it to myself hahaha.... goodnight
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you are second hand smoke
October 18, 2007 1:07am
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so will is back from the phillipines. he has been gone for a week to go to his grandma's funeral. and now I will see him tomorrow and endure a 2 hour convo about what it was like there.
I feel as if I am walking across on a thine line over a razor wire fence and one wrong move and I fuck things up bad. I'm really frustrated about the fact of not making money lately. even though I am better now then I was last summer when I constantly had $300 in my back pocket at all times.
I have been at this job for 4 months now. it feels like it has been a year... I can't wait till summer. that is where the money is. I can't wait.
I've noticed in my old archives that I always had shit talking come out of my mouth. I was always so angry. reading it annoyed me. and half the time I don't know what I was even talking about because I tried to keep certain things secret. and I don't remember what they were now that I think back.
I hope this time around. the blogs I write won't be so trivial. and at the same time not bore the fuck outta who is reading it.
I still can't believe I have been using this for so long. minus the year break. even though you can't tell cause I hid my archives lol
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man I am hungry
October 17, 2007 11:20pm
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I haven't eaten since like..... 3p and now its 11p and I want some food. another day without making money. nor did I draw anything special.... I am going to eat and then I will get back to this. I can't think.
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give me a better year
October 16, 2007 11:30pm
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in my last entry I didn't go into detail of what has happened in this last year.... but like everyone, I have had my highs and my lows.
how many times does it have to take to find the person that will suit you best in life. when you think you find them.... well you are wrong.
I've become a tattoo artist... its my dream job. no more cooking jobs. no more shitty people to work with. but as happy as it makes me to be one. there is a part of my life missing. the part that stayed in the house that I had to walk out of. I am finally back to normal. but I still am in search to fix what has happened. to realize what will work for me.
enough past recap. lets talk about today. the real shit. the nitty gritty
as per usual I wake up at 2pm and it feels like 5 in the morning. I never get the sleep I want anymore. my new tattoo equipment came in today. so I was happy about that. its been slow. I don't make enough right now to even keep food in my mouth. but that is dead season for ya at a new shop.
cramer came down to get some ink. and I skateboarded most the day. also planet terror came out on dvd. so I need to get that soon. I love that movie. and to close the night I talked to tyler on the phone for about an hour. and now I type to myself.
I know this site is pretty much dead. but I have chosen to get myself started on it again. good night
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